Bridging the Leadership Disconnect: Rebuild Trust and Realign Your Team

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“Things have changed fast over the last years, we grew and learned to cope with an unpredictable market. However, in this moment, I spend most of my day discussing and often arguing with my team, my direct reports in particular. I have to repeat things over and over, and I can’t help but wonder if they don’t understand or don’t want to listen.”
This was the opening of my first coaching session with Jim, a Chief Operating Officer who has been with the same company for over 20 years and is now facing the so-called “leadership disconnect.”

Many leaders, like Jim, encounter a time when they sense a disconnect between themselves and their team.

They see their people disengaged and not fully committed to assigned tasks and priorities; things don’t go smoothly as expected due to poor communication or unclear responsibilities. In some cases, leaders may even feel they have lost their team’s trust, facing tensions and open disagreements.

This period of disconnection can coincide with specific events, such as organizational changes or critical projects, or it can occur during challenging times that take a toll on team dynamics. Unfortunately, if not addressed adequately, this disconnect can undermine the leader-team relationship, jeopardizing performance and leading to internal conflicts between two groups: one led by the formal leader and the other by an informal leader.

So how can you reconnect and realign with your team?

To solve the relationship issue, you must first acknowledge that you are part of the problem.

The first step is to recognize the issue and not ignore or downplay it.

One thing I admired about Jim was that he came to me because he knew he had to change his behavior first to fill the gap between himself and his team.

Many leaders tend to blame the organization or some individuals within their team when they notice decreased engagement and high attrition.

Of course, the corporate culture and decisions made at the organizational level might create a crack between a leader and his team. And it is also reasonable to think that one or two individuals can negatively affect the behavior of the entire group. But a leader always has room to act in their day-to-day interactions to improve and rebuild the relationship with their team.

A leader might also think the issue is that people don’t like them as a person, so they try to solve it by engaging them in team-building initiatives and showing them a different side of their personality.

Jim, for example, tried to introduce employee engagement activities, such as the Friday pizza lunch, to boost morale and create opportunities to chat with team members about their interests outside work.
Don’t get me wrong, all of these actions are positive and definitely nurture the work relationship; however, a pleasant moment spent not talking about work is often not enough to address the leadership disconnect.

What is holding them back from following you?

As in any relationship, the issue can stem from a change in the environment or in the dynamic between the individuals.

Working with Jim, for example, he realized that part of his team was experiencing change fatigue. One of his functions underwent significant changes over the last nine months due to the implementation of a new information system and the introduction of new operating procedures, along with the resignations and long-term absences of four key individuals, who were difficult to replace.

As a result, this group found any new request from him overwhelming. He realized that he was not helping them manage the uncertainty of the moment.

His action plan consisted of redefining and clarifying priorities both for standard and new tasks, and, at the same time, having more consistent communication with them to assist in solving the issues due to the recent changes, reiterating the consolidated practices to create a sense of stability and keep the group focused on the right goals and priorities.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you think they trust you, and do they feel that you trust them?

Leadership disconnect is often related to a matter of trust. The bottom line of any leader-team relationship that is compromised, unproductive, or unauthentic is a broken or never-established trust.

In Jim’s situation, his relationship with his direct reports seemed positive and transparent. However, upon further examination, he recognized that it had been undermined over the years by a mix of unmet expectations and a lack of feedback. He acknowledged that he didn’t fully trust his people, and at the same time, he lost their trust over the years.

Jim worked hard for months to rebuild his relationship with his closest aides, demonstrating a commitment to keeping his promises, enabling a regular, open dialogue, and providing continuous, constructive feedback with each of them.

In some cases, especially for newly promoted or hired leaders, the problem arises when they do not invest enough effort in building a trusting relationship with their team, which ultimately leads to disengagement, poor communication, and low productivity.

When did you quit being their leader?

Finally, it is essential to reflect on the distinction between managing and leading.

Often driven by business needs for results and accomplishments, leaders may lose sight of their true role and act merely as managers, responsible only for completing tasks. They stop communicating a vision, providing the team with a purpose, and coaching and mentoring them—these and other essential characteristics that ignite the team’s motivation and willingness to follow.

The team views them as figures of authority to obey rather than as trustworthy leaders to follow, often feeling pressured by micromanagement and overcontrol.

In this situation, leaders must focus on self-development to mend the rift within their team. They need to reconnect with their core identity and purpose—rediscovering “who” they are and “why” they do what they do. By transforming their self-perception, they can effectively modify their behavior, leading to a positive shift in how their team views them.

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